ARCHI D. TOURS EVISCERATED, PRAISED, AND CONTEXTUALIZED: INSTALLMENT #2 (PAULs and TYLERs)
ARCHI D. TOURS EVISCERATED, PRAISED, AND CONTEXTUALIZED: INSTALLMENT #2 (PAULs and TYLERs)
RANKED AND SCOURED FOR LESSONS, PLUS EXTRA RESEARCH
TODAY: Better celebrity homes Archi D never made it to; the concept of UPRIGHT versus SLOUCHING décor; why the footstool is crucial for STARING POSTURE
Dear Snoops,
As part of an ongoing series, we seek to add CONTEXT and SNIDE to the ARCHI DIGEST celebrity home tours – those distinctly psychotic yet edifying additions to the “SNOOPING” canon.
They are notable for being: (1) voyeuristic; (2) highly staged; (3) faux intimate. In this way, they are also a proxy for Intern*t culture in general. And, yet, some décor lessons are nonetheless to be found, which is a turn-on.
Today, we extract those lessons – few as there may be – from PAULs and TYLERs. They are:
SARAH PAULSON, RUPAUL, AARON PAUL, JESSE TYLER FERGUSON (LOS ANGELES), JESSE TYLER FERGUSON (NEW YORK). (Tyler Perry also appears, but it is his COMPOUND that Archi D visits, and not home. Ergo, disqualified from our review.)
A NOTE ON MULTIPLES:
There is a particular f*ckery at play when celebrities appear twice OR MORE, as any shred of possible humility immediately evaporates. Two homes and/or upgrades are – in the opinion of FOR SCALE – private matters.
ARCHI D. “LEADER” BOARD:
FOUR (4) i.e. “WEALTH EXHIBITIONISTS”
Tommy and Dee Hilfiger (plus a fifth “CLOSET TOUR”)
Nate Berkus (plus Jeremiah Brent)THREE (3) “ASPIRING WEALTH EXHIBITIONISTS”
John Legend and Chrissy Tiegen
TWO (2) “NARCISSITIC”
Jesse Tyler Ferguson
Ellen Pompeo
Kris Jenner
Ashley Tisdale
TODAY’S RANKINGS
4/10 Sarah Paulson, Malibu
8/10 RuPaul Charles, Los Angeles
1/10 Aaron Paul, unspecified Idaho
6/10 Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Los Angeles
3/10 Jesse Tyler Ferguson, New York
FULL RANKINGS THUS FAR:
8/10 RuPaul Charles, Los Angeles
7.5/10 Jon Batiste and Suleika Jaouad, Brooklyn
6/10 Jesse Tyler Ferguson #1, Los Angeles
5/10 Nate Berkus #1, Manhattan
4/10 Sarah Paulson, Malibu
4/10 Nina Garcia, Manhattan
4/10 Carmelo Anthony, Westchester
3.5/10 Ellen Pompeo #1, Los Angeles
3/10 Jesse Tyler Ferguson #2, New York
2.6/10 John Legend and Chrissy Teigen #1, Los Angeles
1/10 Aaron Paul, unspecified Idaho
0.5/10 Patrick Dempsey, Malibu
ONTO DÉCOR IN THE CELEBRITY SPHERE:
SARAH PAULSON, Malibu (4/10)
Rarely is the interi*r designer’s name mentioned with quite such frequency as that of AMY KEHOE, as much of what is present here is not only selected by Kehoe it was designed by her and/or selected by Kehoe from her own store, NICKEY KEHOE (Los Angeles).
This is a red flag. Too singular. But we fault Paulson in other ways:
For what was likely a very endearing, tiny, possibly ramshackle home (A FOR SCALE FAVORITE HOME TYPE), most probably woody-warm once upon a time given its presumed age, KEHOE uses questionable strategies to expand the space (WHITE SHIPLAP) and to add back the coziness she most probably at first stripped away.
FAILED WARM AND COZINESS STRATEGIES AT PLAY:
Hard to see, so we shall describe: lots of brass; woven lampshade; brass rope-like drawer pulls.
Yet the effect is the creation of a set fit for a pumpkin spice influencer – a certain sterility/hyper-cleanliness that flattens into “background” at the site of AD’s cameras. This room sits upright when, given its location, it should slouch. To explain, visually: