Two very simple things today: A PHILOSOPHY ON “TREND REPORTS”; INTRODUCING “THE DUMP” CARE OF JUST*N TIMBERLAKE AND FRANC*S BACON and also enlightening insights from “DUMP” REFORMER Philip Almeida
Dear Snoops,
We are in that deeply insidious part of the year where “G*FT GUIDES” fade out and twenty twenty-three “TREND REPORTS” emerge – and it is our duty to present words of caution:
THEY ARE ALL HELL.*
And we shall, immediately, explain why – but also provide some optimism and empowerment.
ASIDE: HERE IS A VERY GOOD GIFT OR THIS, SHAMELESSLY.
*NEARLY ALL
1 AN ANALYSIS OF TREND ANALYSES
First, TREND “REPORTS” hardly EVER – dare we say NEVER EVER - offer suitable cultural context, a sad mainstay of Mainstream Décor Media is “describing” and not “thinking”. Note this headline from “leading” publication Wallp*per, who seems to find it novel that “design” and those who produce it have a fundamental relationship to “the world around us”:
TO CLARIFY: there’s nothing else for design to f*cking respond to than the world around it. If you are unable to look at freshly-minted stuff or décor arrangements and NOT pick apart how-why it results from a particular socio-cultural psychology of NOW, then respectfully TRY HARDER.
Throughout time, décor has unmysteriously flowed alongside the ebbs and flows of “CULTURE” producing changes in both INDIVIDUAL and AGGREGATED preferences. To circle back: it would be impossible to observe a “TREND” without first acknowledging that décor constantly being reshaped in response to “the world around us”. So f*cking OF COURSE, Wallp*per.
AND YET, HERE WE HAVE TREND REPORTS…
Enter the trend report, which – much like the Wallp*per observation in Miami – tends to really miss the fact that CURRENT PREFERENCES must surely SAY SOMETHING about human culture beyond simply being ‘cute for this season’-y.
This, below, from the banal Arch*tectural D*gest off-shoot “CLEVER” (very self-aggrandizing!). Take a very quick moment to review this, which is one of “10 INTERIOR DESIGN TRENDS” “Clever” is ready to “retire” as we enter 2024:
WE TAKE ISSUE AS FOLLOWS:
ZERO PURPOSE: Despite “CLEVER” suggesting this “trend” be retired, they immediately suggest it is, in fact, a timeless “style”. MINDF*CK. REMINDER: nearly 100% (*some rare exceptions) of all trend reports are simply designed to fill editorial space because they have no better ideas, and foolishly we lap them up.
ZERO SENSE: The scallop is essentially “wavy”, in all but dictionary definition.
ZERO CONTEXT: Ultimately, the most (possibly) interesting aspect of this blurb is the suggested “gravitational pull to the ultrafeminine”. We would be very curious to understand WHY they feel that is, and WHAT exactly the ultrafeminine (WHATEVER THAT IS) offers us.
The ONLY interesting aspect of décor from a “TREND” perspective is for it to be used as a lens to understand “the world around us” – BE CAUTIOUS OF ANY DÉCOR TREND REPORTS that do not focus on broader cultural analysis. They are simply fuelling the DÉCOR-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Ironically, one reason why certain décor is preferred in popular taste and then abandoned is that it is consumed AS TREND, meaning: a interested décor is seeded to us, it is then replicated without any thought or consideration and to ever-degrading quality. When then it reaches critical popularity, there is enough f*cking sh*tty replicated versions of it that we then, as a society, deem it “BAD” and misguided.
Had we all sought, instead, to express individual taste, observable TRENDS/PREFERENCES would be much more compelling, as they would represent a kind of COSMIC ALIGNMENT between strangers.
Again, we must reflect on the popularity of OLD DÉCOR BOOKS and INSTAGR*M FEEDS THAT FEED OFF THEM (including our own). We see these all as relevant and attractive. Only DESPERATE décor “dates”.
ASIDE:
Some “TRENDS” that “HOUSE BEAUTIFUL” suggest we will “SEE EVERYWHERE” in 2024, i.e. banal ‘observations’ that illuminate the hilarity of supposed “TREND” :
Brown (okay…?)
Inviting living rooms (okay…?)
Cozy quiet luxury (okay…?)
ALSO: nearly all those who TRY TO BE “INFLUENCERS” of DÉCOR are in fact making décor generic. They present not a LENS on décor, they seek to get straight to HACKS, DUPES, HERE IS WHAT I BOUGHTs, etc.
And, for how much we ADMIRE AND ADORE the PEE-WEE PLAYHOUSE AESTHETIC as done by PEE-WEE, we are also somehow sickened by the likes of JOSH & M*TTJ, et al., who just seem to consume wildly for the sake of attention.
2 “HOW TO DECORATE A DUMP”; TEASING THE BACHELOR AESTHETIC; THE ART OF “RE-SEEING”
We shall, next week, be exploring the AESTHETIC OF THE BACHELOR, including the lesser-analyzed “LESBIAN BACHELOR”.
This was sparked by two celebr*ty décor examples: JUSTIN T*MBERLAKE (YUCK! But, crucial décor artifact) and legendary homosexual artist FANCIS BACON. See how the two, separated by decades and an ocean, do instead feel as one:
This is the beautiful symmetry of the “DUMP”, which was most importantly formalized and explored by PHILIP ALMEIDA in 1983’s “HOW TO DECORATE A DUMP” (a how-to the author refers to as “the most urgent decorating problem of the 1980s”), and also the book is dedicated to his mother.
ASIDE:
The most crucial décor line delivery in cinema is ALSO dump-related, being the 1966 “WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?” (ELIZABETH TAYLOR) mocking the 1949 “BEYOND THE FOREST” (BETTE DAVIS). “Dump” has thus been entered into a kind of queer-campy canon.
ONWARD… TO “RE-SEEING”
“THE DUMP” is also crucial to now: we are all (as with the 1980s) mainly living in dumps. Or so it feels. Or so we’re led to believe, perhaps. And, frankly, “H.T.D.A.D.” shares with FOR SCALE an important bit of philosophy:
“H.T.D.A.D.” is not, says the author, a traditional décor “how-to”, but “it aims to teach you how to re-see” and how to conceptualize. The art of RE-SEEING.
A FEW KEY POINTS FROM THIS TREASURE OF A TEXT, all related to ACTION AND CONTROL.
DUMPINESS SHOULD NOT DISTRACT FROM THE PRIVILEGE OF DÉCOR CONTROL: Regardless of dumpiness of site, domestic décor is a realm in which we can all exercise significant control – sometimes the ONLY place. Remind yourself that this is what you should be doing: FEELING CONTROL
OPTIONS SHOULD NOT DISTRACT YOU FROM ACTION: Decisiveness is more pleasurable than BOGGED-DOWNEDNESS and MULLING-OVER-EDNESS, simply make a choice and (LESSON ALERT!) learn to live with your choice.
(COMMENTARY ON “TREND”!) DON’T BE BURDENED BY OTHERS: Ultimately, as Almeida points out, the most exciting elements of décor are always those that are formally “incorrect”.
DON’T BE GASLIT: As we are reminded, COLOR IS PERCEIVED SLIGHTLY DIFFERENTLY by each of us, and ergo there “is no such thing as an ugly color”, i.e. if you think it looks good, it f*cking looks good!
Also, please consider THIS CHAPTER TITLE. It teaches us that “PERFECTION” is possible:
A selection of said “DREAM DUMPS” will be on THE FOR SCALE INSTAGRAM. But, here is a sweet little tease. We adore an eye-level wall plug! VERY DUMP, but opens a world of possibilities.
NEXT WEEK ON THE “BACHELOR”, a most intriguing tangent of “DUMP” led by the bitter divorcé, PRINCE EGON VON FÜRSTENBURG (as in ex of Diane; see post scriptum for IMAGE OF THIS MAN). And then, f*ck, it’s Christmas.
For now, Love and good luck. And remember - ONLY ONE WAY TO IMPROVE YOUR HEAD:
P.S. MR. VON FÜRSTENBERG:
FÜRSTENBERG so flirty.
Kudos on this headspace. We exist, Damnit! in all our glory and trappings of such. “Intentional” is where it’s at as far as I can tell.
Okay, but what trends should we watch out for?