VOYEURISTIC, TEASING: the future of real estate *pls

And a resistance to HOME ANONYMITY

by BRUCE CHARLESWORTH

Dear Snoops,

We wrote this morning for UNTAPPED about one of our deeps-seated domestic’sphere frustrations: the real estate marketplace, and in particular how cr*p its LISTINGS ARE, feeding into (a) a standard of sh*t décor deemed “universally palatable”; (b) a warped idea of what “home” should deliver for us (flaw-free Asset).

We shan’t (ever) review “cr*p listings”; that’s intolerably Influencer. Consider this instead a COMPANION STORY to Untapped: in part, a bit of what we said there, but with swearing; and in another part, a complementary report on THE POETRY OF HOME.

This News’letter should be ENCOURAGEMENT to:

• the INCAUTIOUS AMATEUR DÉCORATOR

• JANKY FURNITURE EXPERIMENTALISTS

• and, D.W.R. DESERTERS

You are the resistance against “Anonymity”, you are a crucial force in the preservation of THE PERSONAL. Take this is a reprieve from the Hellscape of a White Nationalist Coup in U.S.A. and beyond, and a chance simmer in the sweet juices of Your Own Private Idaho: the homesphere.

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We write this from the “FOR SCALE” HEADQUARTERS in LOS ANGELES. This is the view:

We show this for a distinct purpose.

When we think of our H’Quarters, we think of this vastness, the greenness, i.e. THE VIEW, ET CETERA. In fact, the “FOR SCALE” Homesphere is very modest; is rented; was blandly renovated; is temporary, as all things are.

Ergo, said Vastness and Greenness are indelibly crucial to the Vibe of this Home, and are sort of the only things that make it ‘distinct’. And yet those things also do not “belong” to the Homesphere precisely – they are very public, they are shared, they are beyond control.

MEANING:

If there is one thing that LOS ANGELES teaches you, it is to become highly sensitive to “VIBE.” The notion of vibe supercharges this city — which is evidenced by its robust history of CULTS, for example. “Vibe” is:

• intangible

• ambiguous

• a form of dark art-ery

For those places or people or things able to possess it, or manufacture it, vibe is also POWER.

And, a Good Home possesses (or is painstakingly given) Good Vibe. That is their power. And why it’s always so weird to encounter a really “Perfect” Home that is ultra-vibeless or bad-vibed. DISTURBINGLY COMMON.

A recent Vibe we liked, WIP ADDISON BYRD… a slow-and-steady energy here:

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ASIDE:

ZILLOW FLIPS YOU OFF

Do you recall that Zill*w (a bonafide Amer*can national pastime) at one point attempted buying homes themselves to then make “minimal” improvements and resell them for more? Just to kind of f*ck with us; just to gentrify things more systematically, rapidly, and less human-ly.

(It was a f*cking huge bust, thank f*ck, in part because they used A.I. to make offers and the tech did an incredibly bad job. Tho, corporate self-sabotage A.I. is the only kind worth a damn.)

It was also f*cking offensive, as so much renovation-for-sale is. If décor is one’s personal stamp, then to Flip is to décor for anonymity. (We live in such a place, rented to us in a state of post-flip décor vapidity. Something we are still attempting to unpick.) Not the energy we seek in the world. NOT AT ALL.

George Nelson (!!!OUR HERO!!!) spoke of Anonymity in décor. He says: “IT IS HARD TO BECOME ATTACHED TO AN OBJECT WHICH SHOWS NO EVIDENCE THAT THE MAKER CARED WHAT HE WAS MAKING.”

Somehow, we force ourselves to, because Home is a need, and to love a home is what we all seek. We have trained ourselves to see thru The Real Estate Listing’s uncaring.

But, really, it’s a struggle care about a home RIPPED of character and Human-ness.

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IMMEDIATE RELIEF: RAYS OF LIGHT

We couldn’t have been happier, twenty years ago, to finally see real estate listings with some goddamn humanity in them. (Real estate listings are a pastime.) Homes that were not dressed, nor stripped of everything outwardly ‘personal’ or outside of some perceived “buyer-friendly” taste. THIS WAS and IS “THE MODERN HOUSE”. The BEST and MOST IMPORTANT examples of their work are displays of DEEP and UNSHAKABLE HUMAN INFLUENCE on décor – and an impressive ability demonstrate the VALUE of what it means to LIVE in a house, and simply “owner-occupier” a house.

SEE:

And, may we make a point — as we have in UNTAPPED — about a personal addition to SAM ARNESON and cohort. Who is seemingly ALLERGIC to the notion of “SQUARE FOOTERY”, ET CETERA, and speaks only in terms of VIBE. It is not salesfolkship, it is SEDUCTION. She speaks not of # of bedrooms but of FANTASY and a certain LIFE TO BE LIVED. !!!DAMN EVERYTHING ELSE!!!

Why the f*ck isn’t Home selling more seductive?

A good HOME LISTING should be VOYEURISTIC, MYSTERIOUS, EROTIC. We needn’t see every nook and cranny in a listing, we must only be TEASED. We must want to know more; we must arrive and we must assess its Vibes.

Why the f*ck does a TEKLA brand vid make more sense to us Vibe conveyance than a Home Listing? Why the f*ck isn’t Zillow hiring Sam Youkilis as godd*mn creative direct*r? Or, Clarisse Demory? Or Polly f*cking Brown? Or poach Levi Di Marco even. Someone who dabbles in interiors, but seems to care about PEOPLE, even if those people are invisible. (We have a list of people who should hire.)

OR ARE WE A NICHE AS F*CK MARKET?

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HOME BALLADRY

This is a pacy week, writerly-wise. YET, we want you to pause for moment.

We want to simply REMIND, REFRESH, REINSERT poesy into the conversation. !!PLEASE REVIEW!! Worth ur attention span.

(1) THE MODERN HOUSE and a little billet-doux to LONDON ARCHI-FETISH, the Barb*can… but really its kind of not about that and just about the LETTING GO OF CONTROL in home-choice love:

(2) Did u catch these in 2020?

PENTRAGRAM + this poet called HENRY PONDER. WHO IS EXCELLENT.

The shower:

The stair:

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PLEASE HOLD DEAR the part of your world that is yours, so much else seems to be shrinking. And we beg you to operate within this Idaho only on your terms.

Love and good luck,